Sunday, January 18, 2015

2015 Knesset Elections - Light Bulb Edition

I've haven't blogged in a while. The elections are a good time to (possibly) return. To kick things off, here's some light humor. Feel free to post your own in the comments, but nothing nasty.

How many Bayit Yehudi members does it take to change a light bulb?
None - they don't apologize for broken light bulbs.

How many Yesh Atid members does it take to change a light bulb?
Two - one to buy the bulb without VAT, and one to explain why the price of light bulbs hasn't come down.

How many Likud members does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but he keeps putting the same one back.

How many Zionist Camp members does it take to change a light bulb?
Two - one to change the bulb, and one to call it something else in Arabic.

How many "Movement" members does it take to change a light bulb?
Two - one to change the bulb, and one to tell you that despite all the burnt-out bulbs, Bibi hasn't changed a single one in the past six years.

How many Meretz members does it take to change a light bulb?
Two - one to change the bulb, and one to complain that the entire budget for light bulbs was given to the Settlements.

How many Yisrael Beitienu members does it take to change a light bulb?
<This punchline is under a gag order until the criminal investigation is completed.>

How many UTJ members does it take to change a light bulb?
Two - one to change the bulb, and one to make sure that a cheder in Bnei Brak gets a new bulb also.

How many Shas members does it take to change a light bulb?
They only have one guy who knows how to change the bulb, but he left a week ago. No wait - he's back now.

How many Ha'am Itanu members does it take to change a light bulb?
Two - one to change the bulb, and one to leak a video of Maran saying that their guy is really the only one who knows how to change the light bulb.

How many Kulanu members does it take to change a light bulb?
None - Kulanu only knows how to fix cellphones.

How many Hadash members does it take to change a light bulb?
One, and he does it on Shabbat because changing a light bulb is pikuah nefesh.

How many Balad members does it take to change a light bulb?
The light bulb has been there since time immemorial. They will not remove the old light bulb from its ancestral land.

How many Kadima members does it take to change a light bulb?
They don't change light bulbs. They "disengage" them from their sockets and don't take any responsibility for what replaces them.

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